Another letter to Wesley …

Greetings!,

At the outset the ‘BIG’ issue…

Let me say, I am all for Rev. Florence staying at the Home or wherever she wants to. Poor and alone as she is, as we are being informed (doesn’t say so in the application). And am sure all of us at the Wesley home committee would want that too, she was our Pastor, not of just a few with familial connections (which I also have?!) or only of those whose personal lives was blessed with worldly bliss. We(the home committee) didn’t discuss her personality or any-such to come to the decision, we addressed the application and the process (we still have) and her needs (as mentioned in her application). And that we should NOW be privileged to serve the Priest who served the diocese many long years, even in foreign lands, and us for 5 years. Not that it should matter, but it would bring some perspective when we want to take it upon ourselves to serve the lady, undoing all that the Wesley Home represents… Should we not ask why the diocese condemned it’s own with the havenots? Why the lady who served in such high offices should be thrown amongst those that survive on the funds collected from our rather small congregation? Is this the ideal system the KCD created?, (oftentimes called an empire for the land and money it owns and abuses). If this is it’s wont, then by all means let us the congregation know and let us serve ourselves. Like we so want to and seem good at!. We were called to church to serve!? WHO?

So, let’s hurry to serve this poor, alone and sick who is at our door. Not one of us in the Committee turned a person like that away, at our meeting… So, go ahead lovely people and hasten to bring down the rubble upon us. We must have put you all up there for that. Yes, with our apathy and callousness! Thank you for going so out of your ways to show us the way. May you and your lot prosper!

Maybe we are so totally evolved we are back to needing the abuse of a Monarchy (so diktats) , democracy be damned!!!, the last wo/man be damned!!! the Church’s teaching and Christ’s example?? oh that is archaic too. We have attained material/urban nirvana!

After this (no rules PC meeting) there will probably be none (process). Then those of us who sit on committee can be GODs! Ah! Damn all that loser stuff of sERVing!

Where and how the Reverend will reside with her attendant?! I suppose greater minds who ridicule those that are working on the ground will figure, we are sure. Like it has been many times before to suit ones own wants.

I suppose cause we call ourselves family I will be more familiar (or is that personal) NO, not the way a PC member did with his shouting and screaming at me on the Church grounds on Sunday, even asking to see what my pants hide. IN his tirade against what he called (my)inclusiveness.

(those busy stop here and go straight to the last paragraph, my bit on the burning present – a pastor in the Wesley Home)

While I go on and talk a lil’ bit more about the other stuff that bear upon us such a situation. We are effected by a butterfly flapping it’s wings in Brazil and closer home ; the garbage that we dropped in front of another’s house still bring illness. Therefore our connected ways are direct cause for the disease that is upon us. Well, any way I just speak the obvious…

Committees:

It is such a waste of time! we spend long hours and then go away and nothing, nothing really comes of it. Just another one of things I understood wrongly! I always understood committees to mean to adhere to process and rules and be just. Compassionate too within the (moral) codes of the institution.

NOW: Let’s talk Wesley Home a while:

The Home, was a privilege, a responsibility, given us, to serve. Given to us the community of Wesley, to take care of those that have nothing or very little. The famous OPH road even got it’s name from what is now called ‘Wesley Home’. There are many others who know the history better, and that knowledge or proof of it is what continued to keep the Home in this community’s care.

A few back pages:

We, the Wesley Home Committee some time ago deliberated on urgent needs of the HOME and came to that the home needs some level of nursing care and most absolutely a watchman. This was about 2 years ago, the then Treasurer who also sat on the Home committee agreed that was totally essential. But, that Watchman happened only a couple of weeks ago after someone broke into the Home. The treasurer in a few days of the Home committee meeting refused to make the appointment, even on repeated coaxing and having done all the ground work to find a personnel. No money for it, she said. The nursing care? Ah! Right! What about it? DON”T know!

Oh right, it’s out of great compassion that we want a lot of allowances to be made, not at our homes, but in Church and Church run institutions. Of-course the person who asks for a residence in our outreach-program (Wesley home) is more equal than us and those that reside at the home presently. I am sure that’s the way to go, that’s the way we do things. WE LEAD! Sigh!

We must definitely give her a place. There is place of-course. A ‘gent’ who stays there takes up room meant for atleast a couple more, but then, NO! And no amount of coaxing and asking him to go to his room has worked. Why? Go figure!! And he also uses the home as his own, which is nice, coming and going as he feels fit, NO! Most times nobody at the Home is aware of his movement and keeping the rooms he occupies in stinking garbage niceness. He refuses regular cleaning cause he locks the rooms and does not allow anyone in. That’s how one must treat common spaces, I suppose.

This kind of great leadership and value is what exists at church – a ‘value’ institution of over a century which we only have the privilege of using to meet in His name, keeping it open and welcome to all (but, then I digress). We have built big gates and tall walls and put in spikes which help keep out rather than bring in. Wesley might be fast slipping from being a union of people to just brick and mortar. Who is the church? Oh well, the last few years the loudest questions have been, WHAT? And WHAT is a Church? And more often, what is a A+ Church? Nice question. Oh yes! NICE again!!

So when we click your tongues sometimes when watching the news: when the uncouth, unruly forces ask some of our favorite public personalities to leave their (our) own country. Oh NO!, maybe some of us (can’t exclude, we are inclusive) applaud such crassness. Maybe we celebrate such diversity in such regressiveness, taking a break from long leisurely apathy. So the church really is for those who shout the loudest and who think it’s right to talk to the priest loudly from the pews, in the middle of a solemn service. Where Everything (or anything) goes!

And now for a lil while about the men who rule:

The PC members, most all of them absolved themselves of all the ridiculous decisions they made. ‘Not me!’ they said. Even our previous secretary said this so often in the last biennium cause that poor man couldn’t even make most meetings, his busy job kept him out. But his office in the church remained empty, that’s fine! just saying. So, when today we have a man in the office who may not even know YOU but does your house, you are thankful!?. Really? Yes! Or like the young would like to say, whatever.

So, now I think that’s enough. It’s not like we want to do anything about even the great wrongs and our systemic corrupt practices. We take solace in saying, that ‘it exists everywhere’. And all that we say and write, the people who make decisions claim they don’t understand. Even if it be that, it’s in English and sent/addressed to Wesley “English” Church. Oh, yes, they are of this church itself. OH! Are they? What does one say to people who don’t have the time for most programs of the church and only come by to make major decisions on the PC. They will not attend the sub-committee meeting but will only some PC meetings. Why! Cause the PC OVERRULES! They represent us at various ‘prestigious’ occasions and gatherings but they know us not.

Oh! Yes, I speak for myself!

Speaking for oneself here: (again) and then again!

And therefore not wanting to waste your time or mine by being on the Home committee, I will leave! To those with superior minds to decide and run it the way (any which way)… What point is it us pleading and crying??- that‘s our bedroom (outreach)’, when you come along and pee in there. ‘oh, it’s just the 2 or 3 of them’ a kind lady told me, let it be, we must continue to serve … but with such toxicity of force and being of a higher caste (just sitting on the PC for a long period entitles you that)… that few will force that turn, taking all the silence and apathy to mean a resounding YES!!. And so be it, if that is the way of this world. I will go lay my head elsewhere. So, the Very Best guys. I suppose it’s progressive to have no rules, Rules that were made to help us live together and with each other. But, don’t stop the shouting and whipping of others (the lower class -useless committees and convenors) with stringent ones. What else would it mean when you turn down the suggestion of the people(also volunteers) who are working on the ground?, on the ‘outreach-program’ called Wesley Home. I came to serve cause I understood it to mean the above, so if it is not that, then NOT it is. You call us to a cricket game and play monopoly instead. I also don’t see any need to serve our own rich uncles and aunts, or us (church) raising money, and people sacrificing time for them, that I will, or should do, on my time and space. Not demand that of my community. We strive and aspire as a community/Church for higher ideals… well, I suppose we got that wrong too!

Thank you for understanding. (there’s one word for that too – ‘never-mind’) verily, verily…

god bless

David.

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. 1 Corinthians 10: 23-24 (a verse from the Bible) JLT

of crows and ravens – a fable

Tell us about togetherness Teacher!raven

The Teacher began:

of crows and ravens – a fable

A flock of birds together built a big Nest and set it aside to meet together once a week. Soon other evenings of special days like birthdays and no flying days got added on. And later a few other days for departures and accidents from amongst them were also named and observed. It was warm kindly place, they even sang when there. And in the niceness of that togetherness found strength and happiness. They had soon began to worship the Unknown, in songs of praise and flapping of wings and prayers. To that Presence that sent them that feeling – that feeling of being embraced by The Hands that gave life, just like that, out out nothingness! and they raised their best voices.

Many moons sailed past the trees: a few birds having flown to other lands and seen new flashy toys, showed impatience with the old ways, and wanted to do their kind of singing and praying which they insisted was better (not complimentary), when the rest were just content with singing and praying together. There was much complaining by the new Nesters and some debate among the old-birds.  They were after some passage of time, asked to come up to the alter, and they did, and sang loudly, and all was good for a short time.

The teacher chuckled, drank water, slowly from the tall glass tumbler. And continued his tale..

Some of the old-birds let them do this singing and talking and screaming out whatever came to beak, and ever so regularly too (we are in an era wherein 6 months of a regular activity was called traditional practice) – a cleansing rituals from another nest, said a wise bird, when asked. And most times sung very badly cause no one would know the difference, they said, and a few others that maybe did know the difference, abhorred the lack of  sensibility – ‘kept peace’ however. Time to practice to get their voices to go with the others, they didn’t have. Most of them were busy building their own nests. So, they gave time very grudgingly to the big Nest – very little.

And when one bird asked, ‘why this and not the meditative and solemn ones more often’?, one old-bird who demanded importance for one thread alone, (he could trace the papaya roots that lined his nest walls to the ones which had gone into the making of the big Nest), gruffly pushed straight his haunches and chimed, Shut up! Don’t ask questions! It hurts!

The teacher clutched his stomach and pulled in the sound of the symphonic rich long laughter that danced in his eyes for few long minutes.  NO audio!

And many more moons sped by shamefacedly hiding behind clouds … many birds gave up coming to the Nest on the special days at the time everyone congregated. Many of them did however stop by to offer a bird seed, which entitled them a birthday song in their name, and a few other privileges the allegiance to the Nest had begun to provide. And some other birds started to bring in other activities like shops and then decided to charge birdseeds for every little service they could offer. Some shiny-feathered elders offered flying instructions at a reduced special rates for those from this nest. That kept a few coming here occasionally for just such ease of service.

And more moons leapt over trees and hills… now a few other birds also started t do other things on the special day meant for all.  Most birds didn’t even care to talk to the other by now. An extension of the nest was rented out to a dour band of ravens, and they would also deal with the rubbish the big nest produced.  The pollution and noise grew louder…. A few birds smoothed their ruffled feathers, made up their inner strength and asked a few questions. They hoped, that would help connect back to the meaning of their existence.  Hoped to be back on the road they departed from.  This they thought was what everyone really wanted but were a bit lazy and worldweary to ask or do anything about.  Let’s try and get it’s policies back to a time of niceness, of songs, and holding hands, and easy smiles.

Oh shut up, don’t ask questions! We are interesting in worship. That old bird was still around, one tail feather painted yellow the other feathers were all pale shade of gray.  A few ravens piped in a chorus with fresh new harmonies.

The teacher laughed that sad laugh and softly whispered: Worship? What worship! They shout and scream at each other instead of offering a prayer of thanks. Blissful, unaware, shameless and arrogant!

The teacher put on his big voice again and continued… many birds invested in plastic beaks with smiles, which they wore to the Nest.

And so it continued… the ravens hang around about the Nest (no free will and not just) are now fighting amongst themselves for the dead flesh left. There is no singing now, the song birds having flown!

Those who have ears, hear! The teacher sighed

Luke it’s that guy david again…

To,

The Pastorate Committee , Pastor, and all of you elsewhere,

It’s with a joyous heart I write you. It’s not everyday ‘the church’ wants to speak with me. And I am glad you did speak with me and allowed me some speak too. Well, in some way, this – asking for an apology and also the insinuation of me getting into serious trouble is in keeping with the times. Even though I think it unbecoming of an institution of over 125 years to belittle itself with this task that infringes on free speech. And the revered elected body should readily come after me with this task of gagging me.

But glad however, that there are printed copies of the article I shared on the Open Wesley Group. Wesley English Church online is an open Facebook group, welcome to all, and presently consisting of friends and members who attend Wesley and those who once did and those in far away places, as open as the hallowed grounds of the address on Promenade road is meant to be (our sign boards still says, ‘all are welcome’). I hope free speech and love that what our lord spoke of will be honored in our land and so too our Church. Just stating a very basic fact – more and more we seem to have departed from the core (and basic) itself, therefore the need to state the obvious. The very departure which bade you come to me with this situation.

So, now I write you my response, and I hope this missive too brings you all some mirth…

1) Apology: I do apologize for the hurt sentiments of those 2 or 3 people in the church, I am truly sorry, I didn’t mean to offend anyone, those 2 or 3 included. It’s as much their place as it is all ours. And that article in question was shared cause music and Church I love too. Oh, no, not at all a personal take on anyone doing things in our church. In the article Bill Blankschaen was talking about a church-singing, so why am I answering for Bill!.. but, I do however apologize, as requested by you, and will apologize online too – trying to work that into 144 characters. Why was I not asked about sharing the Pope’s message? Maybe the complaints missed that: Let the Church always be a place of mercy and hope, where everyone is welcomed, loved and forgiven.

2) Dear Family, that’s what I believe we are, and we can’t even look each other in the face(book). Is that not what we should deal with more vigor as a committee and community? But, we sit even at that rare opportunities we get in these hurried, harried, Modern Days of so little time; we choose to condemn and be exclusive?!

And all this was about my facebook update on Wesley Facebook page. And the link and post went thus: hmmm! wow! by George! NO!NO! introducing this would be like the Church Secretary giving you a gist of a 45 minute sermon in a minute… http://bit.ly/1CJiqER

That was such inspired writing by Bill Blankschaen:. And all I did was share it cause Blankschaen articulated his feelings and warm analysis and his insights into working at being a good community. And this I completely happened upon by chance. Well, there are no accidents I suppose. And yes, I feel him, when he talks of the music he can’t/won’t sing.

3) PC hears the voices from the church?!, well, in this case it did listen to one of it’s own, but still! Cause we don’t see the PC much, we assume they don’t. Well, not true I suppose! Some guys who actively want to be on the PC, believe that their material wealth is tied up in this Church and must actively try and mine it and take it home. Oh! And our Lord, didn’t call us to be submissive, stupid or not ask questions. Now where did you get that? That also from the Good Book. Aren’t we called the people of the book?

The church has moved Hate into it’s operation, and the bigger tragedy – love, the very core of our Christian being removed from all it’s operations. A church that has no other value than the material/money will have only it’s real estate/material, which really is not like holding on to the hand of the lord. Our core is being destroyed. Here’s a verse for some comic relief: * That’s how far we can go with material stuff – split and some casting of dice perhaps. They stole Him, when we were counting our money. So, then like Christ said, Peace I leave with you!

4) Recalling a Parable. We linger on the returning son and the fatted calf. But if you did look at the brother that was left out? Do now please! And after you read the verse wherein things were explained to him. Imagine what happened in the years after: they beat the older brother every time the prodigal even cried in his sleep?! ***

5) Random Pressing issues: now that the PC is listening to my whispers here’s a shout out of some random thoughts, not in any order of importance. And also just because I think we could work some real things together, with enabling love and forgiveness and that the Lord may wipe away our tears. Here goes:

  • The cross is not been lit for nearly a year now,
  • there is no light in the premises when there is an evening function,
  • the place near the gate needs repair,
  • the postbox is falling off…
  • the evening service?
  • the sign board that hasn’t reflected the change from over a year?
  • and then there is the big problem of negativity more than positivity in our church, not only are we not going after that 1 sheep that is lost.. we have stopped caring completely for the flock itself ** – where are some of those faces we used to know?,
  • maybe try and have that annual general body meeting (which hasn’t happened for the longest time). Well, maybe all this is not the PC’s concern!? How about the new venture of the school, which the Church knows not more than the limp flex that flaps in the wind. All I am saying is that there is so much to deal with in our little church that can only be dealt with as a committee, but the PC????!… Just saying. No, not at all complaining.

Thank you for taking the time to talk with me and now listening to this, my reply

Peace,

David.

21 April 2015

* Jesus said,.. And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. Luke 23:34
**Luke 15:4: “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?

*** Luke 15:11-31: ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.

Soundtrack: We can work it out- (the Stevie Wonder version)

letter to the Church – Wesley, Nov 2014

Dear Pastor …
and the Wesley family,
In response to an invitation to help and be part of planning our celebration of Christmas at Wesley (particularly the Candlelight carol service), honored indeed, I share my 2 bits.
This Christmas continuing the call to return/reform/renewal/revival:
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.” – Romans 12:1****
Candle-light service:  our way of announcing and praising god for Christ’s birth.  Well, stating the obvious?! Yes, cause if our very life is a gift of that sacrifice, Why are our offerings to this place, like that of Cain?
2 points of action
1) Maximum participation of members
2) Making it grand and an event to be proud of
yes! in that order.
1) So if we are to share the love and joy of our savior’s birth we have to move our lazy cells upstairs and galvanize our muscles to move and to learn to smile again and press on in all earnestness.   If we don’t, well, we still can buy our goodies from the corner kirana stores and have a merry Christmas in the confines of our homes… and the emptiness that ring around you. If you know not, call a parent who lives alone.   Oh, there are many such people in our town.
2) Most often all our programs are last-minute-rushed events, even if some of them are on the same dates on the calendar every year.  And the time to devote to these and at most times lackluster and pathetic at best.
Well, deny it!,  but just go back a few months and you will see the month long 125th celebration was not a joyous coming together to mark an important landmark: that there was pan-church participation only the first of those Sundays,  the other Sundays were skeletal attendance, to a point wherein people who came to sing in our church want to forget that they did come here to help us celebrate our important day.  And harvest, no, not saying it, you go find out!  And if we haven’t noticed the dwindling numbers in the pews, please do try and see,  we may have not have come to feel the absence of our neighbour.  Oh yes, there have been few events which promised much, but have only been sparks so few that they refuse to kindle.

So to move on and not dwell there, cause inspite of all this we are still to find our path. Really didn’t come to complain, but that task did overwhelm, therefore just calling in the whole troop.  More participation is a must.  Or soon our newly made up old beautiful structure will have to give way to the beauty of ruins.  Our children will know no way to commune, and Shrinks will have to be our new gods.  Oh yes, money can buy that.   But, money can’t seem to buy us the right way to live – if gregarious is what we are made to be… Then not at all!  Money can’t buy love! Even the Animals and Beatles knew that.

How onward then:
Inviting a group to be a plan and execution team (done – letter of invitation).  A core-group to work with all the people who will perform and get the schedule clear so as to allow maximum participation of groups and also taking time into consideration. If we treat our audience in the pews like we do with crassness we are only adding to the problem.

The committee should coax and encourage the participants to give their best.   If there is a budget for each of these groups it should be made known so they don’t have to skimp on the essentials.  A lot of times shabby and bad performances are justified cause ‘they don’t care’.  Well, who ever that ‘they’ be.

Immediately announce in church about the program and a brief on how we plan to go about it…and invite people to volunteer and join groups that are singing and be part of of the celebration.   Christmas is the time to organize too.

The Church last year wore a unique look, it was because a lot of them worked towards it.  I suppose like then there should be more hands and minds working on that and follow up on other events after this too.

The program has to be scripted meaningfully and in keeping with the schedule (time).   There should be a team of people from our church who work with words – teachers, editors and also those who love to contribute, be called to participate.

All teams should work in openness and with sensitivity to all others.   Also mindful that we don’t waste resources,  respectful to the environment, and avoiding duplication of effort.  If we prayed and worked together the load is light and the result will be uplifting..

Let’s lift our hands in unity and in the knowledge of his love,  there is no meaning to this life, if in the pursuit of happiness/money we lose our soul.  “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?” – Matthew 16:26

Dinner after Candle Light Service would be a good thing if that is on the Church’s Christmas agenda.

A few words on other aspects of our church too:

Carol rounds: In the last few years, the carol rounds are more chore rounds.  Most of them who accompany don’t sing or are tired.  No, this is not an ageist jab, there are young people who pass out too, it seems.  But, I would like to make this observation, that it’s such a drag and it shows,   we go on inspite of.  Well, a church’s life might be defined thus, and the pastor might find it even a waste of his time to build a lasting solution, thinking if building that might risk there being no carol rounds (even as sad as our expression of that joy is) in his stay here.  This compromising position only helping a lukewarm existence.  (“But since you are like lukewarm water, I will spit you out of my mouth!” – Rev 3:16 )

Well, if that is a bad thing, then let us try and do it right it atleast.   This waking up people late at night and they then wondering why you had to do that, is no solution.  Them wondering why was the wonderful news of His birth delivered in such a package.  No!, the men from the east weren’t wise? ! In the old days,(just to qualify the time, about 25-30 years ago),  a group of young people went out in the christmas season to have some fun had more rewards for the listener.  They most often lit up a few faces that night.    We will have to be brave and give our young the confidence to be responsible on their strong young legs.   The old trying to keep step with them is dragging both down.  Or like Paul said: “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”  No, not the letter he wrote our church**, this one was to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 13:11 ).

And the old must support their effort and make them welcome on these grounds and the young will know soon how to conduct themselves and not abuse the grounds.   If you ask them why they do, they might know not another way, with even most of us also don’t – the parents perplexed with what a moral stand could be in a moral institution.  we seem to have lost all authority to show the young what might be the way. departing from the core – mammon over the way Christ was pointing.

Carol rounds practically is an out pouring of joy that comes at the end of the calendar year.  It is an expression in song and verse and that is also why the years of wisdom, youth and choir are part of the Rounds, cause to state the obvious again, singing all year around and singing at Christmas became an organic extension of church life.
This thing of people adding to the number and because they have nothing to do, is not at all a solution, it’s not even anywhere in that direction.

Oh! about nothing better to do:  people who have nothing to do being entrusted the Church is a nice way to absolve oneself of the responsibility and therein also the joy of community life.   Oh, yes, still referring to that 2 hours (on Sunday) a week!   No, NO! There is no need to wait to see what I talk about, the rot is upon us.  It is now!! Quite like the garbage that cushion our city living in Bangalore these days.

Youth:  The young will have to take this legacy forward. And we need to make sure they are here today for that tomorrow that we profess is theirs, from pulpits and from the head of tables.   Though you know that even though they (the committee) constantly planned and built things for those that are to come 20 years from now, all the while sacrificing our present at the alter of corrupt*(not thinking it through with the many heads, leaving it to one who has ‘all the time’) ways.   Christmas is the time to organize too, and the fun and the joy of it always draws the young so let them in,   and let them be children again.

Shouldn’t the PC be involved in the community building rather than being involved with cement and bricks?  Aren’t they part of us and therefore the arm that equips the pastor to do his spiritual duties and that add light and insight to the admin, rather than the other way around?

Oh yes, some of these are deep rooted.  But to allow the wrong to be part of the system is moving it to ward-terminal.  You want examples?:  the best one I have I will provide if asked.  :).  here’s a minor one though,  you ask any PC member why only portion of the wall of the Church is painted.  You will hear ‘I don’t know’ or ‘who cares?’

But, yes, let’s start the long journey with tiny/first steps, rather than lie on our backs and say, Jerusalem/Church is far, and I care not to go there.

I come to you with joy, by God’s will, and in your company to be refreshed. The God of peace be with you all.***

warm regards,

david

* corrupt in this case is our apathy.

** Wesley got it’s own epistle.

***Romans 15:32

**** slogan for the 125th year celebration – renewal and revival.

Ps: oh yes, we are sad and sorry for the way some folks want people thrown out, or was it just a public stoning they sought?

Am i losin’ you?

Am i losin’ you?

My baby’s gone, she drifted out again.
she brings light and glow to ashen cheeks when around
and ominous dark clouds hang on uninvited
she goes away.
———–
Do you lie to me love?  And still2014-06-27 10.02.37 love me?
Or don’t you love, thus you lie to me?
Am I just a freetime plug?
Is my trouble my ego – that thing inside of me that aches
and raptures with blinding pain,
when I find your ‘with me’, elsewhere.

Is what I am going through plight or a freeing moment ?
will I love you inspite of you not?
Are you leaning on me or you just pressing on my shoulder
to see further?
Am I just the shelter from the drizzles that trouble you
that you call storms?

I cry, I moan, I curl up to find darkness’ perfect pitch to hide,
but darkness dispels and room lights up from the flare of your smile
I whimper, I groan, I flare up in anger-unexplained at a hat’s drop.
Soothed I lie in the comfort and warmth of her arms.

Oh! I am driven insane, by the thought of callousness
she said, she would call, but she had visitors that take her every minute away?
Oh she never said, she would be mine, I only dreamed of such bliss
she came in torrents of rains’ coolness and washed away the grime of
yesterday’s sorrow and worries of tomorrows.

As uncertain as my tomorrow was my yesterday
today slips between the covers of these two
worrying has turned me sour,
was your sweetness that made me leap in the air
built on an illusion of lies.

Oh damn! That takes away even the beautiful yesterdays,
them cushions that ease away troubled tomorrows.

Broadchurch

Now that was one nice ride – Eight episodes of a  set in a small English town. The

Broadchurch

acting superb. The town beautiful!

This idyllic town is rocked – a 11 year old boy is found dead on the beach. And before we are let to discover the killer in the last episode we live some lives and then watch some very great struggles – our everyday does become our special or eerie day, does it not! The final part of the wrenching discovery: the emotions are high, tears will well up in in your eyes as it does to the ballsy(big city girl in this small town) reporter Karen White played by Vicky McClure. After the high note of tears and still restrained emoting on screen, the music (narrative) continues to soar… it’s sublime as the Reverend Paul Coates (Arthur Darvill) tries and manages to bring solace from the Good Book: Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Be kind to one another. Tender-hearted. Forgive one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

And you hear the term Service (as opposed to Mass) mentioned a few times too… Yes, these are the Anglicans :). But, yes, this priest if he were at your parish might get you to visit and also forget that the church was fast losing its relevance, which you were completely convinced about just a few weeks ago. Quite like the guys in Broadchurch.

The Detectives: Inspector Alec Hardy (David Tennant) Detective Sergeant Ellie Miller (Olivia Colman) are superb. it’s a triumph of underplaying that ably carry you the viewer on high emotional note. Tennant is called on to be this very strong guy even in the larger setting of failing health and coming in from a high profile blotched murder investigation in the city, before he come to this small town. He carries the melancholy and machoness firmly on his slender shoulder. And in Colman he has able support. She has a lot layered into her character and she plays them well – mother, detective, wife, friend, neighbor…

And when Karen White (Vicky McClure) does the Journo thing, of trying to bring justice instead of reporting and uses the ‘English Rose’ – Beth Latimer (Jodie Whittaker) effectively. Beth’s brilliant as the young mother – tender, lost-of-faith, wavering, strong. Mark (Andrew Buchan) the father of the boy has it tough with one streak of gray.

It’s a story told tenderly, of a gentle community that comes on hard times. Yes, like it’s said, it’s the tough times that defines one’s true character. Oh, right! the town goes about these times, they falter, they find strength, they hold on, a couple of them fall by the wayside, It’s not all bleak, there is the brighter most encouraging triumph of the human spirit. there is the otherside (the invisible/the force) that flits by when the fight gets tough and the spirit weak. but it still stays in the realm of the logical – the real. Not once is the viewer asked to look away to hide the twists or blind eyes for red herrings.

It’s rewarding few hours in the dark. the light after is comforting still.

Broadchurch will be back, flashes the message on the screen. That kind of hope ever so welcome… though the wait might be a long time.

a sunny song on a road forlorn

Image
The moon has stayed on
– playing it’s loony tunes.
The date on the newspaper had changed
the news remained in columns unchanged
the coffee lukewarm and flat
crows on the cycle track fed on a fat rat

Smile that askanced her lips
streamed radiant beams
driving yesterday’s restless sleep and thoughts mundane
strains of heavenly rhythm for heart’s hopscotch
momentarily went boom boody-boom boody
as a shadow of a sling bag waved

Such the pleasure of the pain of longing
as Facebook updates were status quo
and the Skype button twinkled a white light
burying head in thick gooey text
he waited for colors to change
for the lights to change
for relief from the furtherest reaches
for even few drops into that cup running on empty

Roads ahead were dark
thoughts turned to dreary
but the morning light dispelled gloom
her soft hands dragging huge filthy monsters
into coffee cups with amazing ease
temple flowers laughed merrily from the garlands sweet
though it’s future like the Irish airman’s lament
it’s very life soon to wither at the deity’s feet