Yesterday, over my shoulder

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Oh! it’s been years now
but like the shadows from yesterday overlooks
the shoulder, in the mirror
I see you sitting, smiling at I walked in

you looked troubled then
but soon we laughed to the rhythm of
the city’s cacophonous traffic sounds.
Oblivious, the earth had for us
brought forth new flowers

the weight and stench of
yesterday’s
dismal lilies lay at our feet
Coffee’s aroma filled, then enveloped
us in it’s cloud

and that seemingly ordinary lifted and buoyed us
No land no water no language nor song’s lilt
even slightly alien.
we belonged! and the world inviting
where a while ago we were
unwanted!

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Another letter to Wesley …

Greetings!,

At the outset the ‘BIG’ issue…

Let me say, I am all for Rev. Florence staying at the Home or wherever she wants to. Poor and alone as she is, as we are being informed (doesn’t say so in the application). And am sure all of us at the Wesley home committee would want that too, she was our Pastor, not of just a few with familial connections (which I also have?!) or only of those whose personal lives was blessed with worldly bliss. We(the home committee) didn’t discuss her personality or any-such to come to the decision, we addressed the application and the process (we still have) and her needs (as mentioned in her application). And that we should NOW be privileged to serve the Priest who served the diocese many long years, even in foreign lands, and us for 5 years. Not that it should matter, but it would bring some perspective when we want to take it upon ourselves to serve the lady, undoing all that the Wesley Home represents… Should we not ask why the diocese condemned it’s own with the havenots? Why the lady who served in such high offices should be thrown amongst those that survive on the funds collected from our rather small congregation? Is this the ideal system the KCD created?, (oftentimes called an empire for the land and money it owns and abuses). If this is it’s wont, then by all means let us the congregation know and let us serve ourselves. Like we so want to and seem good at!. We were called to church to serve!? WHO?

So, let’s hurry to serve this poor, alone and sick who is at our door. Not one of us in the Committee turned a person like that away, at our meeting… So, go ahead lovely people and hasten to bring down the rubble upon us. We must have put you all up there for that. Yes, with our apathy and callousness! Thank you for going so out of your ways to show us the way. May you and your lot prosper!

Maybe we are so totally evolved we are back to needing the abuse of a Monarchy (so diktats) , democracy be damned!!!, the last wo/man be damned!!! the Church’s teaching and Christ’s example?? oh that is archaic too. We have attained material/urban nirvana!

After this (no rules PC meeting) there will probably be none (process). Then those of us who sit on committee can be GODs! Ah! Damn all that loser stuff of sERVing!

Where and how the Reverend will reside with her attendant?! I suppose greater minds who ridicule those that are working on the ground will figure, we are sure. Like it has been many times before to suit ones own wants.

I suppose cause we call ourselves family I will be more familiar (or is that personal) NO, not the way a PC member did with his shouting and screaming at me on the Church grounds on Sunday, even asking to see what my pants hide. IN his tirade against what he called (my)inclusiveness.

(those busy stop here and go straight to the last paragraph, my bit on the burning present – a pastor in the Wesley Home)

While I go on and talk a lil’ bit more about the other stuff that bear upon us such a situation. We are effected by a butterfly flapping it’s wings in Brazil and closer home ; the garbage that we dropped in front of another’s house still bring illness. Therefore our connected ways are direct cause for the disease that is upon us. Well, any way I just speak the obvious…

Committees:

It is such a waste of time! we spend long hours and then go away and nothing, nothing really comes of it. Just another one of things I understood wrongly! I always understood committees to mean to adhere to process and rules and be just. Compassionate too within the (moral) codes of the institution.

NOW: Let’s talk Wesley Home a while:

The Home, was a privilege, a responsibility, given us, to serve. Given to us the community of Wesley, to take care of those that have nothing or very little. The famous OPH road even got it’s name from what is now called ‘Wesley Home’. There are many others who know the history better, and that knowledge or proof of it is what continued to keep the Home in this community’s care.

A few back pages:

We, the Wesley Home Committee some time ago deliberated on urgent needs of the HOME and came to that the home needs some level of nursing care and most absolutely a watchman. This was about 2 years ago, the then Treasurer who also sat on the Home committee agreed that was totally essential. But, that Watchman happened only a couple of weeks ago after someone broke into the Home. The treasurer in a few days of the Home committee meeting refused to make the appointment, even on repeated coaxing and having done all the ground work to find a personnel. No money for it, she said. The nursing care? Ah! Right! What about it? DON”T know!

Oh right, it’s out of great compassion that we want a lot of allowances to be made, not at our homes, but in Church and Church run institutions. Of-course the person who asks for a residence in our outreach-program (Wesley home) is more equal than us and those that reside at the home presently. I am sure that’s the way to go, that’s the way we do things. WE LEAD! Sigh!

We must definitely give her a place. There is place of-course. A ‘gent’ who stays there takes up room meant for atleast a couple more, but then, NO! And no amount of coaxing and asking him to go to his room has worked. Why? Go figure!! And he also uses the home as his own, which is nice, coming and going as he feels fit, NO! Most times nobody at the Home is aware of his movement and keeping the rooms he occupies in stinking garbage niceness. He refuses regular cleaning cause he locks the rooms and does not allow anyone in. That’s how one must treat common spaces, I suppose.

This kind of great leadership and value is what exists at church – a ‘value’ institution of over a century which we only have the privilege of using to meet in His name, keeping it open and welcome to all (but, then I digress). We have built big gates and tall walls and put in spikes which help keep out rather than bring in. Wesley might be fast slipping from being a union of people to just brick and mortar. Who is the church? Oh well, the last few years the loudest questions have been, WHAT? And WHAT is a Church? And more often, what is a A+ Church? Nice question. Oh yes! NICE again!!

So when we click your tongues sometimes when watching the news: when the uncouth, unruly forces ask some of our favorite public personalities to leave their (our) own country. Oh NO!, maybe some of us (can’t exclude, we are inclusive) applaud such crassness. Maybe we celebrate such diversity in such regressiveness, taking a break from long leisurely apathy. So the church really is for those who shout the loudest and who think it’s right to talk to the priest loudly from the pews, in the middle of a solemn service. Where Everything (or anything) goes!

And now for a lil while about the men who rule:

The PC members, most all of them absolved themselves of all the ridiculous decisions they made. ‘Not me!’ they said. Even our previous secretary said this so often in the last biennium cause that poor man couldn’t even make most meetings, his busy job kept him out. But his office in the church remained empty, that’s fine! just saying. So, when today we have a man in the office who may not even know YOU but does your house, you are thankful!?. Really? Yes! Or like the young would like to say, whatever.

So, now I think that’s enough. It’s not like we want to do anything about even the great wrongs and our systemic corrupt practices. We take solace in saying, that ‘it exists everywhere’. And all that we say and write, the people who make decisions claim they don’t understand. Even if it be that, it’s in English and sent/addressed to Wesley “English” Church. Oh, yes, they are of this church itself. OH! Are they? What does one say to people who don’t have the time for most programs of the church and only come by to make major decisions on the PC. They will not attend the sub-committee meeting but will only some PC meetings. Why! Cause the PC OVERRULES! They represent us at various ‘prestigious’ occasions and gatherings but they know us not.

Oh! Yes, I speak for myself!

Speaking for oneself here: (again) and then again!

And therefore not wanting to waste your time or mine by being on the Home committee, I will leave! To those with superior minds to decide and run it the way (any which way)… What point is it us pleading and crying??- that‘s our bedroom (outreach)’, when you come along and pee in there. ‘oh, it’s just the 2 or 3 of them’ a kind lady told me, let it be, we must continue to serve … but with such toxicity of force and being of a higher caste (just sitting on the PC for a long period entitles you that)… that few will force that turn, taking all the silence and apathy to mean a resounding YES!!. And so be it, if that is the way of this world. I will go lay my head elsewhere. So, the Very Best guys. I suppose it’s progressive to have no rules, Rules that were made to help us live together and with each other. But, don’t stop the shouting and whipping of others (the lower class -useless committees and convenors) with stringent ones. What else would it mean when you turn down the suggestion of the people(also volunteers) who are working on the ground?, on the ‘outreach-program’ called Wesley Home. I came to serve cause I understood it to mean the above, so if it is not that, then NOT it is. You call us to a cricket game and play monopoly instead. I also don’t see any need to serve our own rich uncles and aunts, or us (church) raising money, and people sacrificing time for them, that I will, or should do, on my time and space. Not demand that of my community. We strive and aspire as a community/Church for higher ideals… well, I suppose we got that wrong too!

Thank you for understanding. (there’s one word for that too – ‘never-mind’) verily, verily…

god bless

David.

“I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but not everything is constructive. No one should seek their own good, but the good of others. 1 Corinthians 10: 23-24 (a verse from the Bible) JLT