Am i losin’ it/you?

Am i losin’ it/you?

My baby’s gone, she drifted out again
Oh yes, she brings light and glow to ashen cheeks when around
and ominous dark clouds hang on uninvited
she wants ever so often to go away
Do you lie to me love?  And still2014-06-27 10.02.37 love me?
Or don’t you love, thus you lie to me?
Am I just a freetime plug?
Is my trouble my ego – that thing inside of me that aches
and raptures with blinding pain,
when I find your ‘with me’, elsewhere.

Is what I am going through plight or a freeing moment
working hard?
will I love you inspite of you not?
Are you leaning on me or you just pressing on my shoulder,
to see further?
Am I just the shelter from the drizzles that trouble you,
that you call storms?

I cry, I moan, I curl up to find darkness’ perfect pitch to hide,
but darkness dispels and room lights up from the flare of your smile
I whimper, I groan, I flare up in anger-unexplained at a hat’s drop
smoothed I lie in the comfort and warmth of her arms.

Oh! I am driven insane, by the thought of callousness
she said, she would call, but she had visitors that take her every minute away?
Oh she never said, she would be mine, I only dreamed of such bliss
she came in torrents of rains’ coolness and washed away the grime of
yesterday’s sorrow and worries of tomorrows.

As uncertain as my tomorrow was my yesterday
today slips between the covers of these two
worrying has turned me sour,
was your sweetness that made me leap in the air
built on an illusion of lies.

Oh damn! That takes away even the beautiful yesterdays
that you had for cushions for the tumultuous tomorrows.